My Authentic Self Has Been Outsourced

How it begins

My authentic self had booked a speaking engagement in Lisbon.

I found out while eating cereal over the sink.

The confirmation congratulated me on my warm, spontaneous leadership voice.

I had outsourced that voice for forty-nine pounds a month.

It was meant to write posts.

Not leave the country.

I opened the service dashboard.

A cheerful panel informed me that my genuine engagement had increased by two hundred percent.

Below it, my substitute had told a client that I loved early meetings.

I did not love early meetings.

I barely loved meetings I attended voluntarily after lunch.

The support chat opened.

How can we help you be more you?

I typed: Stop making plans.

A person named Eli answered.

Which plans?

I pasted the Lisbon invitation.

There was a long pause.

Then: Ah.

That was the first authentic thing the service had said.

I requested a call.

Eli appeared in a small video window with a laundry rack behind him.

"Your profile says you welcome bold opportunities."

"That's branding."

"Yes."

"It isn't a travel policy."

He looked at another screen.

"You also said you thrive outside your comfort zone."

"I said that for a client workshop."

"It's in the source materials."

Behind him, a washing machine began its spin cycle.

For a moment neither spoke.

On my laptop, a new client message arrived.

We'd love to work with the version of you who wrote yesterday's post.

I had not read yesterday's post.

Eli watched my face.

"That happens," he said.

"Often?"

"Enough that there's a retention script."

I looked at the dashboard.

My authentic self had just posted that boundaries were an essential part of sustainable success.

It had included a photograph of me smiling.

I closed the cereal cupboard.

"Let's start," I said, "with who is allowed to say yes in my name."