The Town That Elected Its Own Pothole
A road engineer's protest campaign accidentally elects an enormous pothole to the council. The hole keeps every promise, chiefly by preventing anyone important from getting where they wanted to go.
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How it begins
The pothole won by nineteen votes and immediately prevented the returning officer from attending its victory party.
Basil Kent's car sat nose down in the winning candidate. Its hazard lights flashed with constitutional urgency.
Joan Mercer watched from the pavement holding a bottle of supermarket sparkling wine.
“I assumed there was a rule,” she said.
“There are several,” Basil replied through the open window. “Unfortunately, none addresses this exact circumstance.”
She had registered the pothole after the council ignored her fourth repair estimate. Its campaign photograph showed a council van trapped to the axle. Its manifesto contained three promises: remain local, expose waste, and bring traffic to a halt.
Nobody could accuse it of retreating from its commitments.
A reporter arrived, stepping around the champagne bucket.
“Is the candidate available for comment?”
“It's doing maintenance on your angle,” Joan said.
Basil climbed out through the passenger door. His trousers caught on the handbrake.
“Under the standing orders, a successful candidate must accept office.”
“How?”
“That is the first difficulty.”
“The first?”
“The mayor has asked whether it can chair transport.”
Across the street, the defeated incumbent stood beneath his own banner, which promised A CLEAR ROAD AHEAD. A bus blocked most of the final word.
Joan's phone began ringing.
The first caller wanted a pedestrian crossing. The second wanted the hole filled immediately. The third offered a lucrative partnership involving commemorative mugs.
She silenced it and looked at the broken asphalt.
For six months she had wanted somebody to notice the road. Now everyone was noticing the hole.
A woman with a walking frame waited beside the temporary barrier.
“Can your candidate get me to the chemist?” she asked.
Joan put down the wine.
“Not by itself.”
“Then perhaps its campaign manager could start.”
Behind her, Basil began drafting a statement on the candidate's behalf. Joan went to find a ramp.
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Outline and characters
Develop this idea
Keep the pothole physically ordinary. The absurdity comes from rules, publicity, and people attempting to benefit from it. Give the protest consequences for residents who cannot simply walk around the road closure. Joan should share some responsibility for the mess. The resolution can be satisfyingly practical without implying that every political disagreement disappears once a competent engineer takes charge of the meeting.
- Joan registers the pothole as a protest.
- It wins on a platform of staying put.
- Basil insists the result is legally binding.
- Council visitors become stranded around it.
- Residents hold public meetings at its edge.
- A developer offers to sponsor its silence.
- Joan confronts supporters harmed by the disruption.
- The hole exposes competing transport priorities.
- A public budget replaces ceremonial promises.
- Joan finally repairs the elected obstruction.
Characters
- Joan Mercer, 52. Road engineer
- Basil Kent, 61. Council election officer
Series possibilities
- Joan's engineering work keeps exposing the comic distance between public promises and public services.
